Our thanks to fellow blogger Lallands Peat Worrier who has drawn our attention to the splendid public indecency case decided on 1 November 2010 by the Court of Criminal Appeal, holding that the Eastern Necropolis, Dundee, was not "public" in the sense required for the commission of the offence by the performance of fellatio within the graveyard's bounds.
Lallands Peat Worrier, to whom we must refer readers for all details, presents the story in Burnsian mode, recalling Tam O'Shanter's misadventures with Cutty Sark at Alloway Kirk on Hallowe'en. Scots Law News was rather reminded of the metaphysical poet Andrew Marvell addressing his coy mistress, whence our headline. For those who don't know Marvell, the next line of his chat-up poem – and indeed the whole poem – can be consulted here. Clearly starting from a sound proposition, his metaphysics led him to a mistaken conclusion. Perhaps he had never visited Dundee?